Modern B*a*g Lady Truth #8

She who keeps a journal with visuals (like vision boards) and writings finds clarity in this moment, which become pieces from the past that fits nicely into her visions of the future. Besides it's just good to get it out (do not censor) and you can always use the material.   Trust me.

Your true vision for your life, rooted in your Born Belief does not accelerate your Traveling Sanctuary to speeds of 100 MPH with the intent of quickly reaching your destination.  In moments of clarity your speeds will increase, but your vision will become blurred causing you to slow down or possibility stop along side the road.  These moments are as important as the moments of clarity.

Journal Entry June 3rd 2008 (stinking at drawing is no longer an excuse.)

Website Idea June 28, 2009

Believe (thoughts) Act (draw, write, sing, color, express) Go (Visions come to life and connect with others, which reinforces the belief and creates new ones)

Born to Pursue the American Dream?

Sometimes I could just kick myself. What the heck was I thinking? Have I been brain washing to believe I was born to pursue the American dream. I now believe much of it is just a hoax to hypnotize us into CONSUMING? The whole realization that we've been programmed to mindlessly consume makes me want to vomit!

Let's take a mortgage. Wikipedia claims mortgage comes from the Old French "dead pledge," apparently meaning that the pledge ends (dies) either when the obligation is fulfilled or the property is taken through foreclosure. Ok mortgages are not evil, but when you are handcuffed to your mortgage and it influences your life and decisions to the point that it prevents you from pursuing your born belief and purpose that is a serious problem.

We were not born to "work" for 40 years so we can have a happy retirement. We were born to enjoy life, you know the ebb and flow of life. We were born to have mini retirements throughout our lives, but when we are handcuffed to a mortgage that doesn't give us the flexible to experience life, it buries and weighs us down.

Start thinking about your beliefs. Are they your own beliefs? What things have buried your own beliefs. What beliefs have your bought or borrowed?

Ogres Are Like Onions

Today I share a piece I wrote nearly a year ago. I was writing about one of my BB's, my Born Belief, which is at the core of our existence. This core is not unlike the universally accepted core values held by religions, societies, organizations, movements etc. My BB (baby, born belief), Modern B*a*g Ladies, simply applies my own language to express this core that connects us all. With the utmost sincerity I tell you that coming back to your core is the most exhilarating and hardest undertaking one can pursue.

Life, people, and mostly our own negative thoughts apply (buried beliefs) many layers (bought & borrowed beliefes) over our core. You have one. Its in there. You know when you've reached it. It's that OH Yes feeling. When you find that place, no matter the timing or length, it's a washing of warmth and knowing. Note the actions that lead you there and repeat the action. This is where a journal or audio recorder comes in handy, as the mind can be cluttered making ti difficult to recall.

From this core we must have the courage to venture out and travel as well. It is the hard part of discovering your core and learning its purpose outside of it.

I'm high. I'm low. I'm high. I'm low. I'm fast. I'm slow. I'm in. I'm out. I'm in. I'm out. I whisper. I shout. I'm happy. I'm sad. I'm glad. I'm mad. I thrive. I survive. I'm left. I'm right.

Maybe my hormones are out of whack. WHERE DID MY MIDDLE GROUND GO? Is that the wishy washy place to be? Ugh, I am so confused. Lordy, I almost feel like I'm having an adult case of adolescent mood swings along with the rest of America.

A Place Of Extremes......

If the media is a reflection of how America is doing (questionable at times) we are becoming a nation of extremes. The hope President Obama choruses over the air waves, yet predators ready to pounce at the first sign of failure. His stimulation plan not received well by Republicans and everyone is ready to write off bipartisan forever. The whole notion of the permanency of anything, whether for the good or the bad. The middle ground just doesn't seem to be the "COOL" place to be these days.

As I wallowed in a state of confusion over my middle ground, preparing this week's newsletter I arrived at this conclusion...

"If I were a tree, standing tall and straight, I will allow myself to yield to the winds that pull me from left to right, from this extreme to the next. My yielding, centered by my core, is not due to a force that bends me. It is a a graceful yielding motivated by innocence and wonderment. I lean to understand. I lean to observe. I come back to my "middle" to reflect. As I lean to and fro I maintain my young flexibility. The winds will not break me. The winds will teach me."

Our trees are trees weathering a formative storm today. It will require us to be flexible and sometimes yielding. If I insist on being rigid in my core (middle) I may break. Gracefully we must yield, yet always returning to our core. The time spent at the core is not important. It's only important that you have it and know your way back.

Finally I realize that I have not lost my middle ground. It only feels that way because my stays are shorter, but always within sight.

I think this hard rock Dancing B*a*g Lady just tried on the leotard of an interpretive dancer.

Be Strong. Be Graceful. Be Flexible. Be an Interpretive Dancer?

The Terrain of Your Brain - Wow! It's a Trip. Map it!

A simple question led to the fascinating exploration of my mind, the exploration of the terrain of my brain. I asked, "How do you start writing a book?" I was watching Angela Shelton's live stream and she opened it up to questions. Since she is a fabulously talented writer and is funny in the most dorky kind of way, who better to ask, right?

Here was her suggestion, "Read, The Mind Map Book, How to use Radiant Thinking to Maximize Your Brain's Untapped Potential, by Tony Buzan." I ordered it that very day and started to read it the very day it arrived at my door step. Now.... I am accustom to constructing Value Stream Maps as a tool used to conduct business process improvement projects, but often felt bond by a "linear" focus. As you know, any successful business person has a very dominate left brain. Which is a borrowed belief I picked up early in my career. It left me feeling a bit lop-brain sided, stunted and out of balance. Now I am not saying that anybody forced me to buy into this. I limited myself mostly to fit in and to be accepted within a world I shared with some very capable, talented business people.

The book explains how the brain works and ultimately provides you with a mapping tool that allows you to tap into your left and right brain. No more pigeon holing your brain, left or right. HELLO TO MY WHOLE BRAIN. YOUR ARE SOOO CAPABLE AND VAST AND UNIQUE AND COLORFUL AND WELL....... TAKE A LOOK.

You see those two bridges. Guess what? Your left brain can talk to and visit your right brain. Which means they can collaborate and cooperate. Think about your bridges. Have they been out of service because somebody (yourself) has told you that you are left or right brain dominate? Time to open the bridge.

Below is the first exercise in the book, which demonstrates the power of association and how different people are based on their own unique experiences. The first one is mine and the second is my seven year old son's. The central theme is "HAPPINESS". The branches from the ten words are infinate, as well, and so is the power of your brain.

My associations: skip, joy, laugh, cry, warm, silly, smile, friends, family, go lucky
Gavin's associations: joy, play, friends, good grades, no school, parties, tv, building, sports, earning toys


I'll be sharing more about this book as I start using this tool more. There is a book inside me where Chaos and Rules can travel together. I will also use this tool to solve problems, brain storm ideas and plan my work.

Kim, Julie & Julia - What's the Point?

From the moment I saw the advertisement for the movie Julie and Julia I was fascinated and captivated. I saw the movie with my girlfriend Friday night. As the movie started I said, "Ok I'll pretend I am Julia Childs and you pretend you are Julie Powell." Sorry to say, but my friends and family will have to listen to me exclaiming, "Bone Appetite" for a few weeks to come. Its my goofball way of reminding myself that I am special.

Julia Childs? A master chef, an author, an artist, a woman, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a collaborator. Julie Powell? A New Yorker, a woman, a wife, a writer, a blogger, a cook, an author. Kim Lampe? A mother, a wife, a woman, a blogger, a friend, a collaborator, a dreamer, a lost soul, found over and over again, a hissing pussy cat, a seriously deep thinking goofball.

Julia got a book deal and her own television show. Julie finished her project, got a book deal and had a movie made about her journey to finding herself. Kim.... (is currently detained by that mom thing. Hang on, I'll be back in......?) Kim took out the garbage, gave some instructions to her daughter on the proper way of decluttering your room, of which does not include scattering your stuff into 3 other rooms including her brother's and parent's bedrooms. Kim looked at piles of dishes in her sink and piles of clothes, washed and not, feeling a bit self critical of her absent housekeeping skills of late, chased her son upstairs, put the left overs in the frig and put on her slippers because her feet were freezing.

Here's my point....

Even though there are books, movies and blogs about people, you never really see everything that entails someone's life. They give you a snippet here and a snippet there. It can make you feel as if they have something "special". Something you don't have.

Now I know what I am about to say is usually reserved for that "special" moment with that somebody who bore you from their loin, but here it goes, "You are special." Why not be committed to sharing that special with the whole world? Keeping it to yourself will surely drive you to insanity. Sharing her specialness is the only way Julia Childs could have shared Julia Childs with the world (you couldn't make up that stuff). Committing to finishing all 500 some recipes in Julia Childs french cookbook in 365 days and blogging about it is how Julie Powell committed to finding her temporarily lost specialness.

Kim Lampe knows she is sharing her specialness with the world when she is laughing, smiling or listening very attentively to somebody else. She's coming to know that when she feels lost she is on the right path. She has yet not to find her better self after a good wonder.

I didn't go to Julie and Julia to steal their special. I went to be inspired to believe that I could find my special with their help. Julia was committed to writing a cookbook on french cooking. It took her over 8 years to write and it was rejected before being published. Julie was committed to finishing her own personal project, with no motive of a book or a movie.

Be committed to your own specialness and respect other's as well. We're in this together ladies! Julie, Julia, Kim, Terry, Jan, Jill, Britni, Terry, Rosi, Karla, Kirsten....

* Kim needed some inspiration to write this post, so she put on the apron you see in the photo above. It took her back that moment when she was being herself (laughing, smiling). Writing about herself in the third person gives her that feeling that she has a published book and a movie about my, I mean her, life. HA!

Features and Benefits of Being a Modern B*a*g Lady

Le'ts familiarize yourself with some main features. Hop in, Let's take a test drive.

B is your Believe. You can categorize beliefs into 4 categories called your BB's; Born, Buried, Bought and Borrowed Beliefs. Our beliefs drive our dreams & thoughts. Dreams and thoughts drive our Actions. This part is about beginning with the end in mind, so it is important to be aware of your BB's.

A is your Act. When our actions are focused around spreading joy, shredding fear and having fun we find the keys to our Traveling Sanctuary. Turn the key. Spark the fuel.

G is your Go. When we believe, dream and take action we can realize our dreams. Our G's are our OH Yes Moments. That inner Yes that isn't that temporary yes from outside forces.

You need to seek out your Fuel. You need frequent, small fill ups. Your Fuel is your self care, not your selfish care. Sometimes your self care includes sharing your fuel as well.

Have B*a*g, fuel and keys, will travel. Traveling is getting out of your safe lane and seeking to help others and yourself. It's proclaiming your dreams to the universe.

As you travel you need to be the safe place for others to renew. You will be the Sanctuary for others. Your mirrors will reflect other's goodness back to them.

Finally, the Modern part is about today being your day. Women are no longer viewed as second class citizens. We have proven ourselves, but perhaps to a fault. Not all women want to bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan. The modern day is ready to allow women to be themselves. Let's claim it today.

B *a*g? Check
Keys? Check
Fuel? Check

Welcome aboard to your Believe Act Go Traveling Sanctuary. Your first B*a*g challenge is to go to your handbag and find some fuel. If all you can find is baggage well its time to go fill it up with one thing that will fuel you dreams and charge you to act. One of my favorite things to carry with me is my Ipod. A Dancing B*a*g Lady needs her music.

We're in a Constant State of Creation

Make Each Day Your Masterpiece

Ordinary is Extraordinary

Add Your Ray of Sunshine

You are the Star. The Sky's the Limit.

"B"elieving

Seeing isn't believing. Believing is seeing.

Heart first. Brain Second.

Follow your heart first. Set your sights on something you can't see.

Ditch the Bitch Badge

***Warning the "B" word is coming up & it's not "B"elieve**** If you are offended I understand, but it's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Back around 1998ish (give or take a year) I was confined to the corner of a windowless office with two other women. Down the corridor in front of us were 5 other women and 2 around the corner and to the left. We talked to each other and customers 8-9 hours a day. Some days it felt like a locker room and some days like a hen house. I wouldn't exactly call it mixed company, but some days things probably did get a little out of hand. I felt bad for any man entering this estrogen domain for his first time.

It was in this locker room/hen house environment that the "three ladies in the corner" briefly adopted the song, "Bitch" by Meredith Brooks. And I think they pinned it on me first. We found the song a bit provocative with a catchy beat. I really didn't pay attention to the lyrics until this week.

The Bitch Is In Town!!!!

Now I believe we latched on to it because secretly some of us women wear it as a badge of honor one second, but certainly would be offended if somebody called us this to our face or behind our backs, the next.

An assertive woman may acquire the badge for one of two reasons:

1. The pinner is intimidated by assertive women (or any assertive person)
2. The woman is overly assertive, due to her fear of others not taking her seriously.

Yes, my husband did call me the B word once. Yes, I was being overly assertive because I let stuff build up, exploding with emotions. I was being a big itch (safe word my hubby can use to tell me I am over reacting) and not in a good way. I am letting him off the hook and "Bitch" by Meredith Brooks helps me understand why I should. I'm not condoning his actions. It was a one time offense for which I am forgiving him. Here are the lyrics.

I hate the world today......You're so good to me, I know.......But I can't change..... Tried to tell you but you looked at me like maybe i'm an angel underneath..... Innocent and sweet

Yesterday I cried.....You must have been relieved to see the softer side....I can understand how you'd be so confused...I don't envy you...I'm a little of everything...All rolled into one

(chorus)

I'm a bitch... I'm a lover... I'm a child... I'm a mother... I'm a sinner... I'm a saint.... I do not feel ashamed... I'm your hell... I'm your dream... I'm nothing in between... you know you wouldn't want it any other way

So take me as I am... This may mean you'll have to be a stronger man...Rest assured that when I start to make you nervous... And I'm going to extremes... Tomorrow I will change... And today won't mean a thing

(chorus)

Just when you think you got me figured out...The seasons already changing...I think its cool you do what you do...And don't try to save me

(chorus)

I'm a bitch.. .I'm a tease...I'm a goddess on my knees.. When you're hurt... When you suffer...I'm your angel undercover...I've been numb... I'm revived...Can't say I'm not alive...You know I wouldn't want it any other way

Let's ditch the bitch badge. Let's just be ourselves. Strong, but comfortable with our flaws. Willing to be the best we can be. Get your B*A*G on Ladies.

Memory of 9/11. What is a women to do?

Live. Forgive. Seek. Imagine.

I'm writing this post Sunday morning September 7th, 2008 at 12:50 am.

Without giving much thought to the soon approaching anniversary of the terrorist attacks that occured 9/11/2001 I rented a documentary, On Native Soil, yesterday afternoon. It is a documentary of the 9/11 Commission Report.

AM 9/11/2001 - I was sitting in the doctor's office, waiting to be seen by my doctor, anticipating the birth of my son. I was listening to the radio as these events unfolded in misbelief.

I do not find many movie rentals very appealing these days and decided to browse the special interest section. I suppose with my mind filled with overwhelming information, opinions and criticisms of recent events leading up to the presidential election I was drawn towards my selection.

An overpowering conclusion came to me. Not a new one, but one with more intensity. I only have control over my own actions. I am confronted with decisions every second, every hour, every day, every week, every year. Some hard, some easy, some even robotic. Being a robot? Am I hypnotized, low on fuel, complacent, traveling along my journey directed by borrowed and bought beliefs. PERHAPS.

All is not lost, tomorrow is a new day, but at the same time a new day that could be lost to my robotic mind. Which will I decide?

Stand in judgement OR seek to understand
Help OR turn a blind eye
Find excues OR find a way

It seems so complicated, but it is not so. You know as do I, that deep down we all know what is right and good. I have faith in humanity and in myself.

My final thoughts. People will make mistakes, people will be hurt. If you hurt or do wrong, apologize and find a way to do better. If you have been hurt, forgive (including forgiving yourself) even if an apology has not been spoken. Seemingly complicated situations require simple imagination. Allow your mind to go there.

When a small group of surviving family members of the 9/11 attacks came together to demand answers, wanting their loved ones' death not to be in vain, they were simply asking for the truth, an apology and a committment to doing better. One man gave them this at the conclusion of the long drawn out commission.

Within your reach of influence you have much power to make this world worth living in. Your mind, your heart, your family, your community, your company, your state, your country, your world, your universe. I have faith in myself and humanity. I hate to even imagine the alternative.

Money, Power, Superwoman - All That and a Lifetime of Free Massages? I Think NOT!

If having money, being powerful, snatching up that promotion, and imitating Superman was all that and a lifetime of free massages we (women) would have gone up, up and away through that so called glass ceiling, scattering glass across corporate America and the blogospere. They're even talking about a glass ceiling for women bloggers, a topic at the Blogher conference. I'm not going to categorize all women together, but humor me while I generalize about this subject.

Let's go back to the 1943. World War II had taken away much of the manufacturing workforce needed to produce goods for the war. Rosie the Riveter was born out of the government's desire to summons women's patriotism. Women answered the call, "We Can Do It!" On average these woman worked for $31.41 per week, while men doing the same work earned $54.65. After the war most were told, "Thanks for your patriotism, now go back to your homes and let the men do their work."

Their act of patriotism probably did open many doors for women in the workforce, but I would have been fuming mad if I had been treated that way. I know exactly what I would have done with that energy. Set out to prove myself, which women have done and almost to a fault. I would say that today we misinterpret this icon to mean "We Can Do It All, with a baby on our hip, while running the household,while blah blah and blah blah blahing.

Rosie the Riveter, a believable strong women, has morphed into Superwoman, an unrealistic super hero. I love this iconic poster, but I am rethinking what it means to me and I hope you can look at it and find your own definition of being a strong successful women, whether you are in corporate America, run your own business or orchestrate a somewhat smooth running household.

Here's my Believe Act Go challenge to you today. Don't be a Yes lady and pile one more layer of Kryptonite on top of your Superwomen mentality. Be your own, Lois Lane, and try a few of these strategies.

1. Learn some lessons from our "sometimes" smarter halves - Men usually do not ask permission to engage in male bounding time. Schedule downtime to be with yourself or girlfriend(s) without asking permission. PUT IT ON YOUR SCHEDULE JUST LIKE TIMMY'S BASEBALL SCHEDULE. If we don't "schedule" this time we will fill it with more chores.
2. Success List - Write down what is really important to you. Maybe categorize them by your roles. Write down your typical actions. Connect the lists. Will your actions help you achieve the things that are important to you? Select an action that doesn't line up and stop doing it.
3. Can You Believe She... - Your BAG (Believe Act Go) is not her BAG. Her BAG is not your BAG. Women have a tendency to be hard on each other. This can add to our guilt because we value other women's opinion. Often we are reflecting our own fears onto other women. Next time you start to say, "Can you believe that so and so........STOP and think why you care. Replace with, I can't believe I .....
4. Ask for Help - Asking for help is not, I repeat, IS NOT a sign of weakness. Many times we hesitate to ask for help and before we know it we are in over our heads and reach a state of being overwhelmed. Overwhelmed? Ask for help.
5. Balance Your Roles - When you're not fulfilled in one role we tend to over compensate in another. Re-balance your roles and energy spent in each worthwhile role.
6. Take your own best advise.

I have found that when you have spent 15 years working towards a somewhat borrowed belief that success = a new home, new cars, promotions and buying your children pretty much anything they want, it takes a little time letting go of that false sense of security.
A wise women once told me (in not so many words) that it is not our beauty that gives us our strength. It is our strength that give us our beauty.

Your BB's - Born, Buried, Borrowed, Bought Beliefs

We carry different kinds of B's along with us in our Traveling Sanctuaries. We have a mixture of all these BB's.

• Born Beliefs·
• Buried Beliefs
• Borrowed Beliefs
• Bought Beliefs

What does a baby believe? Well at first probably just that they need food, a dry diaper and a warm blanket. Soon we notice they have their own special personality and as they grow they become so acutely aware of their Born Beliefs. And just as soon as they become aware, the world influences can turn those born beliefs into Buried Beliefs. Conform, conform, conform, conform, young grasshopper! Hey, I know it's difficult riding that fine line between guidance and conformity, but what a gift in nurturing a child's uniqueness. I have my own evidence that I was born with a belief in my true self, but that's a long story that I can share at a later date.
As I'm writing this, I'm listening to XM 70's on 7. 70's music totally unearths my Buried Belief that I am one funky mamma. Just give me a dance floor and disco ball. John Travolta has nothing on me! (random thought, as my daughter would say)

Your born beliefs may be just below the surface or they may be buried deep. If your parents didn't bury your born beliefs, you may have buried them yourself with Borrowed and Bought Beliefs the world was offering. Hey, they even hand out free B's, just look at the media. Too bad they didn't come with a warning. "By accepting this bought or borrowed belief you may need to surrender your born given right to your own B". It has been my experience that when I was afraid to be myself or afraid that what I had to offer wasn't enough, I bought and borrowed beliefs that were not my own.

Buying and borrowing is not all bad. There is hope for these B's. Buy and borrow things that fuel your own B and that you can afford. But, if the stuff (affectionately called cr_p) you buy distracts you from acting on your born beliefs, reassess and reprioritize. Here's an example. If we buy this camper we will spend time together as a family, we will enjoy the outdoors together and become a closer family. Well, the camper will not make this happen. Your born belief that family time is valuable, should be realized before buying the camper. The camper should be the fuel for that born belief, not the thing that robs the fuel.

We Believe we have born beliefs, buried beliefs, borrowed and bought beliefs. We will Act on our born and buried beliefs. We will fuel our Traveling Sanctuary with bought and borrowed beliefs that align with our true selves. Action will shred fears that disguise themselves as beliefs. And finally, GO GIRLS GO!!!

GIVE ME A "B"!