Saturday, August 14, 2010

B*a*g Essentials to Fend Off Surprise Attacks from Your Inner Critic

The loser in my brain just told me I couldn't write this.  Her negative voice can be quite tenacious at times.  I guess being aware of her presence is much better than being deaf to her damaging blows. (Off to soak in the tub to flood her out.) Ok, I'm back. She's always trying to stab holes into my "CAN DO" fuel tank. She's been known to slap a "Baggage Welcome" billboard advertisement on my back while greeting me with her passive aggressive cynical pat on the back.  HA! HA! Funny joke, me walking around completely unaware that I was inviting my own and my neighbor's baggage into my space.

Here are some of her more famous subliminal attacks & my B*a*g essentials needed to fend her off.  Prepare your B*a*g!

"If I was as (adjective) as (amazing woman's name), I could (accomplishment)." This type of talk could keep you from surrounding yourself with amazing women that you NEED.  Bag ESSENTIAL #1 - Supportive, smart, funny, giving, amazing women in your life, in the real world and the virtual world.   

You need living breathing examples.  The more authentic they are the better. Their brilliance shines through as they share their struggles.  Their authenticity will feed the awesomeness in you because that is their goal. They won't feed your inner loser. They expect a lot  from you, hold you accountable and give you grace, all at the same time.  They do this because they know doing this "woman thing" is a team effort.  Gossiping and judging doesn't serve us. Real success is earned and is truly inspiring.

5 Authentic Women (and Men) I Know.

Put them in your B*a*g and add yourself to the list.  I am (positive adjective) and I will (accomplishment).  One of the most challenging parts of this essential is that you may need to subtract some people out.  It's not that you don't love them or that they are horrible people.  In fact, why not ask them to join you in creating a more positive space together.  Sometimes they're not ready and as you separate you may feel lonely. I am posting a great video that might help with the alone thing, at the end of this post.

"When I (accomplishment) I will (feeling or destination)." We need to flip-flop this one.  You must feel worthy first to know that you deserve to accomplish the goal.  For example:  I have struggled with cutting out Diet Coke out of my diet.  I've been doing very well.  I may have 1 a day, but many times none, compared to 6 or 7 a day.  It has had a profound affect on decreasing my brain fog.  "I deserve to feel good." has detoured me straight away from the pop machine and to the water cooler on more than one occasion.  Bag Essential #2 - Creating a space to feel the feeling of the accomplishment in preparation of achieving the goal.   

Feeling worthy of the accomplishment fuels you and gives you strength to take action.  The journey creates the actual feeling, which is the OH YES fuel that keeps you going.  Visualize a picture holding the moment of FEELING.  Creating a vision board is an awesome way to create feeling.  I wrote about vision boards on the Survivor Manual.  A dear sister, who is on my top 5 authentic woman list, Terry Grahl, always says, "Get the cart before the horse."  She creates that space of feeling with grace and faith.  Go to the  Enchanted Makeovers website, which is a non-profit organization that creates beauty and worthiness for all women.  This is a shining example of this B*a*g essential.

I can't (action).  You're not holding yourself accountable when this one creeps up.  In reality you are saying, "I am not willing to...." following by "because (insert excuse)"   Let's start with one reason I was not willing to write the best post that I could possibly write tonight.  I read great blogs everyday. They inspire me, challenge me and provide tools I need to accomplish my goals, BUT I have a terrible habit of comparing myself to them because I don't feel worthy.  "If I was a talented writer like Donald Miller, I would have best selling books and a blog that has tons of readers."  "I won't be a talented writer if I don't write and surround myself with great writers."  My obstacle is my inspiration, which created the space to feel the feeling of writing my best and sharing it with you, risking being rejected. See how that works?  B*a*g Essential #3 - Do for others.  

Doing for others inspires you to find your gifts and to continually strive to do your best and improve.  When this happens you tend to the health (mind, body and spirit) of the vessel that delivers the gifts.  By doing so, you become keen to the sounds and feelings of a oncoming surprise attack from your inner critic, stopping her dead in her tracks.  If one person has an OH YES moment while reading this, it is worthy of my efforts.  If nobody reads this it is worthy of me practicing my craft, with intentions of helping others.

   Our inner loser is a broken record, force fed to us.  In Modern B*a*g Ladies lingo those broken records are bought and borrowed beliefs that don't align with our born, buried beliefs.  Time to toss out those records!  THEY"RE BROKEN! WE'RE NOT!  Speaking of records "I want to be a billionaire so freaking bad..... I want to be on the cover of Forbes Magazine, smiling next to Oprah and the Queen.Hey it's not my dream and who am I to step on their dream.  Our inner critic is quick to judge.  Watch the music video, pretty good actually.

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