Saturday, August 21, 2010

Can You Travel in Comfort Without Your B*a*g?

We're packing up the words and memories of this blog. 
www.modernbagladies.com and www.believeactgo.blogspot.com are moving in together and redecorating over at

We'd hate for you to travel without your B*a*g, so follow along AND

on Facebook, Twitter and our newsletter, as well.  

Saturday, August 14, 2010

B*a*g Essentials to Fend Off Surprise Attacks from Your Inner Critic

The loser in my brain just told me I couldn't write this.  Her negative voice can be quite tenacious at times.  I guess being aware of her presence is much better than being deaf to her damaging blows. (Off to soak in the tub to flood her out.) Ok, I'm back. She's always trying to stab holes into my "CAN DO" fuel tank. She's been known to slap a "Baggage Welcome" billboard advertisement on my back while greeting me with her passive aggressive cynical pat on the back.  HA! HA! Funny joke, me walking around completely unaware that I was inviting my own and my neighbor's baggage into my space.

Here are some of her more famous subliminal attacks & my B*a*g essentials needed to fend her off.  Prepare your B*a*g!

"If I was as (adjective) as (amazing woman's name), I could (accomplishment)." This type of talk could keep you from surrounding yourself with amazing women that you NEED.  Bag ESSENTIAL #1 - Supportive, smart, funny, giving, amazing women in your life, in the real world and the virtual world.   

You need living breathing examples.  The more authentic they are the better. Their brilliance shines through as they share their struggles.  Their authenticity will feed the awesomeness in you because that is their goal. They won't feed your inner loser. They expect a lot  from you, hold you accountable and give you grace, all at the same time.  They do this because they know doing this "woman thing" is a team effort.  Gossiping and judging doesn't serve us. Real success is earned and is truly inspiring.

5 Authentic Women (and Men) I Know.

  1.  
  2.  
  3.  
  4.  
  5.  
Put them in your B*a*g and add yourself to the list.  I am (positive adjective) and I will (accomplishment).  One of the most challenging parts of this essential is that you may need to subtract some people out.  It's not that you don't love them or that they are horrible people.  In fact, why not ask them to join you in creating a more positive space together.  Sometimes they're not ready and as you separate you may feel lonely. I am posting a great video that might help with the alone thing, at the end of this post.


"When I (accomplishment) I will (feeling or destination)." We need to flip-flop this one.  You must feel worthy first to know that you deserve to accomplish the goal.  For example:  I have struggled with cutting out Diet Coke out of my diet.  I've been doing very well.  I may have 1 a day, but many times none, compared to 6 or 7 a day.  It has had a profound affect on decreasing my brain fog.  "I deserve to feel good." has detoured me straight away from the pop machine and to the water cooler on more than one occasion.  Bag Essential #2 - Creating a space to feel the feeling of the accomplishment in preparation of achieving the goal.   

Feeling worthy of the accomplishment fuels you and gives you strength to take action.  The journey creates the actual feeling, which is the OH YES fuel that keeps you going.  Visualize a picture holding the moment of FEELING.  Creating a vision board is an awesome way to create feeling.  I wrote about vision boards on the Survivor Manual.  A dear sister, who is on my top 5 authentic woman list, Terry Grahl, always says, "Get the cart before the horse."  She creates that space of feeling with grace and faith.  Go to the  Enchanted Makeovers website, which is a non-profit organization that creates beauty and worthiness for all women.  This is a shining example of this B*a*g essential.

I can't (action).  You're not holding yourself accountable when this one creeps up.  In reality you are saying, "I am not willing to...." following by "because (insert excuse)"   Let's start with one reason I was not willing to write the best post that I could possibly write tonight.  I read great blogs everyday. They inspire me, challenge me and provide tools I need to accomplish my goals, BUT I have a terrible habit of comparing myself to them because I don't feel worthy.  "If I was a talented writer like Donald Miller, I would have best selling books and a blog that has tons of readers."  "I won't be a talented writer if I don't write and surround myself with great writers."  My obstacle is my inspiration, which created the space to feel the feeling of writing my best and sharing it with you, risking being rejected. See how that works?  B*a*g Essential #3 - Do for others.  

Doing for others inspires you to find your gifts and to continually strive to do your best and improve.  When this happens you tend to the health (mind, body and spirit) of the vessel that delivers the gifts.  By doing so, you become keen to the sounds and feelings of a oncoming surprise attack from your inner critic, stopping her dead in her tracks.  If one person has an OH YES moment while reading this, it is worthy of my efforts.  If nobody reads this it is worthy of me practicing my craft, with intentions of helping others.


   Our inner loser is a broken record, force fed to us.  In Modern B*a*g Ladies lingo those broken records are bought and borrowed beliefs that don't align with our born, buried beliefs.  Time to toss out those records!  THEY"RE BROKEN! WE'RE NOT!  Speaking of records "I want to be a billionaire so freaking bad..... I want to be on the cover of Forbes Magazine, smiling next to Oprah and the Queen.Hey it's not my dream and who am I to step on their dream.  Our inner critic is quick to judge.  Watch the music video, pretty good actually.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Straight Up! On the Rocks!

The Sanity Lounge is a place where I expose myself to a semi private audience (you can make it completely private if you like.)  I feel it is important to share some of my thoughts which have flowed so easily in this space.  It's the conversations I yearn to have with my sisters; STRAIGHT UP! ON THE ROCKS!  I can't emphasize enough the importance of getting your feelings out in a journal; write, draw, scribble, collage etc.  Carry a  physical one with you in your physical bag AND have one online if you'd like.  For me the pounding of the keys maintains the rhythm. TOOL YOUR B*A*G. Your thoughts flow. Then find true sister friends whom with you can share.  Thank you for being here and allowing me to share.


Friday August 7, 2010 11:00 PM - Had the best impromptu meet up with Kirsten tonight. Husband is home this whole week, which is the first time all summer. Hence, making this last minute meet up possible.




We talked for 3.5 hours. Time flies when you are physically with somebody who understands where you are at and each of you unselfishly wants to help the other along the journey. It seems I have very few "sisters" like that in my real life. Most of are online, which is awesome, but you know what I mean.




Driving home the word TORN is taking up huge space in my head. I see a piece of paper being divided into 5 strips, tearing, tearing me down. Laying down in a heap, me, my daughter, my son, my husband and my father, the paper turns into a thick liquid, as if it has melted. Slowly, calmly spreading like the most amazing glaze on the most delicious mound of dessert. Equal parts everywhere. Not torn. Flowing, flowing flowing.



First it starts with me tall and rigid. The heat of my love softens me. The tall tower slumps and spreads. Suddenly I see in all directions.


Is this wishful harmony, peace and joy. NO. I don't think so. The difference between the tear and the melt is all about my presence with the feelings. I am not pieces to be torn and given away. I melt over everyone, whole, connecting, loving and bringing whole peace, not pieces.


Physically I can't be with everyone that needs me in their life right now, but i can be spiritually. Inside the melted icing, forming waves where I physically surf from one physical body to the next. Always my spirit there. The invisible yummy thread.


On my way home from a wonderful physical meeting of mind, body and spirit I almost shifted into auto pilot. Schedules and needs of others bursting the bubble. I came back quickly and thought I'm going to the journaling lounge before I go to bed.


It's an interesting place here. Writings that don't fit my blog. I feel like exposing my naked soul. Writing flows much better for me through the physical act of typing. I can not get this with my physical journal I carry. I draw stick figures there. You can't really type them. I suppose. Only the smiley face. I do write in my physical journal and not usually in a straight lines. Words everywhere.



I spoke to Kirsten about intention tonight. I really feel I am laser beaming on specific intentions lately. It's a good thing. I have a huge vision. Now I am reconciling with the amount of time I can spend on my drive, passion and purpose, given our situation. TORN!!! NO!!! Flowing grace. intention. All battles are fought internally.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

No More Pussy Footing IT in Auto Pilot

Alarm, snooze, alarm, snooze, alarm.  OK, the feet hit the floor, now the search for an outfit that looks half way decent and is comfortable. Shower, dry, lotion, dress (wrangling the boulders into their holder. the most exercise I will probably get all day), brush the snags, hair-do, makeup. LIGHTS~CAMERA~ACTION.  "Gavin! Time to get up." (insert a banter of some morning grumpiness) We rush out the door.  Backing out of the driveway, fleeting joy catches my eye.  ERRRRRT. Brake. Stop. "Gavin, did you see that?"

I've been on this joy ride for a few months now.  Myself and two other dorky moms got this things rolling. Get the back story here.  Here's the deal. 

Everyone has a purpose. It doesn't start by finding it. It starts by giving it to yourself. It leads you and pulls you towards IT. A continuous cycle of mystery and discovery. The pursuit.

What is your IT?  I really couldn't say, but it's not doing to just fall in your lap.  Purpose is joy.  Joy is purpose.  You have to give it to yourself.  Plain and simple, not easy.  So, back to this joy ride thing.

The Ultimate Yellow Joy Machine

I've been seeing YELLOW finches flying everywhere lately.  There are a few of us who have given ourselves the purpose of finding joy in the color yellow. We see it. We take a picture. We post it on our public Flickr group here. We write a caption. AND in October we will gather all the images and create a video montage of YELLOW Joy.  You can read about Tracie's reconciliation with YELLOW here.  This ride is creating an amazing collaborative story!


"Gavin did you see that?"  I'm jolting out of auto pilot by YELLOW finches yet again.  But, today as the finches swoop low a gorgeous blue bird zooms by high.  We follow it down the street (blue bird), but loose the trail.  I keep thinking how I could get a picture of these little joy flights.

I drop Gavin off at day care and make it to work.  Annette comes into my office.  She's becoming such an amazing painter.  She shares each new child of emotional labor with me.  This is what she lays on my desk.


I'm in LOVE! "Annette, I must buy this painting."

She too has been admiring YELLOW finches for a few weeks.  It is their mating and nesting time.  It was pure joy the instant I laid eyes on the painting.  I shared the Yellow Joy Machine story with Anette.  Her emotional labor brought someone pure joy.  JOY. JOY. JOY. RADIATING YELLOW .

Pure JOY can't be found in your auto pilot mode.  It takes intention. Don't pussy foot around.  The Ultimate Yellow Joy Machine is just one ride.  Catch one of your own.  Pick something that will represent your joy and seek it out. It is your purpose.  Let's put the pedal to the metal and keep this riding going.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Handy Women and Wowmen

From time to time I will post a Scavenger Hunt Challenge on Modern B*a*g Ladies' Facebook Page

Go to your actual BAG and find something that is weighing down your B*a*g. It needs to be tagged (acknowledged). It needs to be recycled from baggage to bag (believe act go).

I revealed that the loose receipts in my bag represents how I put off tracking expenses.  I was off to find a tool that could possibly help me, but before I go all "handy woman" on you, let's really acknowledge the baggage.  I believe it is rooted in my scarcity mentality.  Why?  Well that's a much longer post for a later date.  Suffice to say, "I need to keep digging." 

Megan replied,  "You just gave me a task for today. WOOHOO! I'm off to tackle the mini-mountain on my desk."   I asked her to report back on how it went and she replied, "Ah! I'm finished!!! I feel like I can breathe... Thank you so much for the reminder to get that desk DONE."  I told her I would find a tool to help with mine.

Handy Woman

I realize I had already identified a great tool to track my expenses, but wasn't using it and we know why.  So, as soon as I can really come to terms with the root of the baggage I have the tool, which is an Excel Spreadsheet and Evernote.

Evernote (free product with premium for pay packages) is a web/mobile application that is a virtual filing cabinet.  You can store text, audio and image files.  You organize the content with your assigned tags.  I can simply take a picture of the receipt, come up with appropriate tagging with amount, date and expense category.  This allows me to have a back up filing system.  I love Evernote as a tool. It's no wonder Tim Ferriss, author of The Four Hour Work Week, is an adviser and investor as providing virtual tools allows you to have rich "lifestyle' as Tim would say.

I need to become more disciplined with logging my expenses on a very nice spreadsheet I built 2 years ago.  Advantages are two fold:  #1 - I am ready for tax season in a timely fashion, void of more procastination and scarcity anxiety and #2 - I am more accountable to what I am spending.   It's right there in front of my face with each entry.

Handy Wowmen

Megan's willingness to share and participate in the scavenger hunt challenge motivated me to go a step further with my filing of information.  I made category lists of the "clowns"  I follow in my @discoveryourbag twitter account (wrote about this on my last post). One group is Wowmen.  Although Modern B*a*g Ladies targets a woman audience, we are not islands and there are plenty of men out their offering information on great tools and some fuel as well.  Check out this list.  I'm sure you will agree.

Before We Strap on the Tool Belt....

The best handy women and wowmen know this.  Fixing a leaky pipe without identifying the root problem will guarantee ongoing repairs.  Identify the root problem, then seek out the right tool for the job.  You can't repair everything at once and tools used for prevention are golden.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

My Volkswagen Beetle ~ Filled with Clowns?

"Slug Bug!" POW!  Just what a boy needs, a valid reason to punch mom in the arm. I don't fully understand why boys need that chest pounding hormone at such a young age, but that's not what I intended on writing about tonight, so I'll get on with it.  The Volkswagen Beetle car concept I started with distracted me a bit.  Maybe that speaks to my state of mind lately. (If you spend time surfing the internet for information and connections you'll want to read on.  If you don't..... well I recommend you leave this post and go hug your child (pet) or do that one thing you've been putting off.  But then again if you read on you could actually apply this to your real "in person" life.)

So anyway.....lately, I've been thinking about the passengers I allow in my Traveling Sanctuary. It is easy to connect with others via online social networking. Your path can intersect with so many amazing people, who share much needed information. Knowledge is power and you are bombarded with choices.  A survey of Forbes bagillionaires reveal that they spend at least 3 hours a day reading, most of it online. To like or not to like.  It's as easy as a click. Should I add this to my RSS feed?  It's as easy as three clicks.

Surely, more is better right?  Size matters. Yet, maybe it's not the size of the boat (actually Volkswagen Beetle for this post), but the motion in the ocean (internet surfing for this post). Ah heck, that's just what people say when they don't have a sizable following on Facebook and Twitter.  I recently watched a TED Talk about choices. I am sharing the video at the end of the post.  Don't get distracted with it now.  Watch if you would like to challenge your ideas about the freedom to choose and whether it's better to have more choices.

Your Traveling Sanctuary is the size of a Volkswagen Beetle

Let's face it, you're only one person, so from that perspective your capacity to spend online time with others, is the size of a VW Beetle.  The question is, "Are you trying to stuff it with too many clowns?"  And when I say clowns I am not implying these passengers aren't wonderful, amazing people. But damn a bus load of clowns in a your VW Beetle is pretty overwhelming, with all them huge red noses and massive feet (he he).

Ask Yourself ....

  • What do I hope to accomplish via my online presence and how does that influence how and who I connect with online?
  • Is your connecting and knowledge consuming proportionate with your "actions" that actually accomplish your online goals?

I Love all the Clowns but I can't fit a bus load into my VW Traveling Sanctuary

Based on your goals.......

  • Take inventory and prioritize.  Sheena is re-organizing her RSS Feeds. Check it out.  I frequent her posts.(Ironically enough the presenter's, on the video below, name is Sheena as well.) Chris Brogan has a few thoughts on this subject. I read his blog every day.
  • Balance your "fuel" into categories:  Mind, Body, Spirit, Joy, Fun and Fear Shredding. 
  • Is it business or pleasure? There's a time for work and a time for play.  The best is when your work is your play, but sometimes you just need to put that huge red nose to the grind stone.
One final note (OK maybe two or three)

Just because somebody is your friend on Facebook doesn't mean they are allowed to fill your online space with negativity and baggage.  Generally I believe you attract what you're putting out there. If somebody un-follows or un-friends me I figure I'm not delivering what they need.  I'm cool with that.  Most people I follow online that have huge followings have them because they are amazing and they deliver on point information to their targeted followers.  Get it? They concentrated on their online goals and the following followed. Imagine it looking more like a convey of VW Beetles that are not overloaded with clowns and their baggage.

Thanks for clowning around with me.  Convoys can be a pretty powerful force when you have a common interest and desire to make a difference in virtual and real worlds.

Photo credit SlideShow Bruce

 

    Wednesday, July 28, 2010

    Have B*a*g Will Travel & Merge - NEW WEBSITE COMING SOON

    We're Moving.  Soon this blog will merge with the new Modern B*a*g Ladies Website. We're working on some great projects and gaining some more focus.  Thank you for your continued support and patiently following along.  We hope you'll invite more of your friends as we will be providing the vehicle to share your stories, to challenge you to take action and to help our sisters.

    Here's Modern B*a*g Ladies on  Facebook and Twitter.



    Rosi said, "You've come a long way.  Just look at what you've accomplished."  I find her words encouraging.  I've heard those words a few times in the last year from amazing sister friends.

    Nearly two years ago I wrote my first blog post. (Excuse me while I reflect upon this milestone:  Who is this B*a*g Lady Anyway.)  I wrote, "You're probably wondering who the heck is this BAG Lady and why is she writing these posts. Well there was no election, so I wasn't voted in as "THE" BAG Lady, but there in lies the beauty of it. All women are welcome and there's no test, no panel of experts and no debates. I just basically volunteered because I've observed the women around me seeking some Believe Act Go power. I thought, "Self, we (women) could use some collective BAG. My sincere hope is that I can inspire, the Belief in yourself,,the desire to Act and the vision to Go where your dreams meet your reality."


    3 1/2 years ago I became acutely aware that I was traveling on too busy, mom, wife, career woman highway. I thought my exhaustion and spiritual emptiness was the price every woman had to pay for success.  I did have a physical wound.  Surgery took care of that.  During the 6 weeks of medical leave I was forced off of the fast lane to reflect on how I had arrived at this place.  The physical wound soon healed, but it was just the beginning of my spiritual healing.



    We're fast approaching the 2 year anniversary of this blog.  2 years ago I wrote about not being a casualty of corporate America, which by the way is not the enemy.  Casualty? Kind of dramatic.  Myrna was my life coach at the time.  I told her I needed an escape plan.  She interpreted that to mean that I needed to replace the income my career had delivered.  I would have thought the same thing if I were her.  I wasn't quite sure where I needed to go or how exactly I was going to get there, but I did know I had much more too offer AND for a purpose much bigger than myself.



    Self discovery, which we call Discovering Your B*a*g, can't be accomplished through a 6 week on-line training course.  It's a life long journey.  With this in mind, I remind myself not to be so hard on myself and less critical of the pace of my so called "escape".  When I hear the words Rosi shared with me today I am reminded that it's about the journey.  I hope you'll keep riding along with me on this journey and invite more as well.  Here's Modern B*a*g Ladies on  Facebook and Twitter.

    Monday, July 26, 2010

    Motoring in the Bright Lights

    Mom to 8 year old son, "Gavin, What should I write about?"

    Son replies, "Write about the bag lady in Vegas, duh mom,"

    Gavin and I were in Vegas spending some time with dad and husband this last weekend.  Tom works in Vegas.  He works for Lifetime Fitness, a high-end fitness and wellness company.  He's in charge of the on-site construction of their fitness centers, which takes up to 16 months to build.  He comes home to Minnesota 3 weekends a month. We thought it would be nice to see where dad spends most of his days.

    As I merged the Modern B*a*g Ladies' graphic with the photo of the original Vegas sign, the contrast and similarities hit me.  At the bottom left of the MBL graphic it says, "follow the signs". Now if I were lost in the middle of the desert, Vegas would be the flame and I would be the moth.  The signs are so obvious. The contrast between the dull tan desert landscape and the enormity and gaudiness of the strip causes me to admire the engineering and entertainment feats, yet disgust in the waste and excess.

    Vegas causes me to immediately crawl into my shell. In these environments of enormous energy I question my nature and do self destructive comparisons.  The more self aware I am, the stronger the contrasts become. What I know about myself, and what I have written about before, is that my Traveling Sanctuary has a diesel  motor, which is to say that I like things slow and easy going, like the subtle rolling hills in MBL graphic.

     Diesel motors need to stay plugged in (at least in cold weather) to get their engine going.  In contrast, a zippy 5 speed motor needs more coolant to keep it's engine running. My husband and son definitely have 5 speed motors and my daughter has a diesel motor.  Tom and Gavin fill the space with high energy.  Paige and I can sit quietly for hours and be perfectly content.

    Neither is right or wrong.  It is as it was meant to be.  Being aware is the key and accepting your gift, which is your born nature is a form of self love.  

    Think about your Traveling Sanctuary engine and what type of fuel you need.  This diesel motor needs a dose of high octane jet fuel from time to time.  And I believe 5 speed engines need to find their own personal formula of coolant from time to time. 

    What type of Traveling Sanctuary car are you?  Make? Model? Color?  You can see mine above in the graphic. Hey, it's actually a little sporty.  I even have the top down. I'm not sure Thunderbirds came with diesel motors, but this my blog and I can imagine anything I want.

    Picturing yourself as a car can help you think about what fuel you need and your proper maintenance schedule.  Use your imagination and draw a mental picture.  When I am in a high energy environment, I am not joking when I say that I remind myself that I am diesel motor.  It has value and I don't need to swap motors.  I was meant to have this engine.

    Wednesday, July 21, 2010

    Tool Your B*a*g - Traveling Vision Board



    Jennifer Lee of Artizen Coaching has vision and  provides the tools so women can carry their vision with them in their B*a*g.

    Product:  Unfolding Your Life Vision Kit

    Rating: 5 B*a*gs



    Modern B*a*g Ladies was not solicited for this product review and does not benefit from this review.

    Sunday, July 18, 2010

    Sticky Business - Bumper Stickers of Life

    B as is Bumper.  B as in Belief.

    The bumper stickers of life are sticky.  Some may fade.  Some may get covered.  But, they all remain with us as we travel.

    B as in Belief.  Not R as in Role. You take your beliefs with you to each of your roles.

     It's important to identify your beliefs, otherwise your Traveling Sanctuary will look like a Band Wagon.  That gets confusing for you and others.

    Challenge your beliefs. They will either become stronger or be replaced.

    You always lead with your Beliefs, so apparently the Traveling Sanctuary pictured above is traveling in reverse.
    Identify your B's.  It leads to Action, which leads to those OH Yes Moments, which is your Go Fuel.

    Here's a start.  I BELIEVE.......(fill in the blank)

    Saturday, July 17, 2010

    Book B*a*g - A Million Miles in One Thousand Years

    I bet I have read more in the last 3 years than I have my whole life leading up to that point.  I even braved the laser beam stares during a Pee Wee hockey game IN MINNESOTA because I just had to finish that book to the left. I just couldn't put the book down. My son WAS NOT on the ice, but according to my husband I was still committing a mortal hockey sin.

    The book, A Million Miles in a Thousands Years,  was a gift from Chris Brogan and Donald Miller.

     Here's how that came about via Chris Brogan's blog......Chris states, "I’d love for you to write a quick blog post about the importance of story in your life. That’s it. If you want, link back to http://www.chrisbrogan.com/importance-of-story, so I’ll see the trackbacks as well." 

    The first 100 people to post an article, regarding the importance of story in their lives, on their blog, would get a book.   Here's the article I wrote, Reasons to Surround Yourself with People You Admire.

    When I read a good book I like to share and I love when you share your favorites as well (do that in the comments below. Hint. Hint). So, in preparation to compose this review, I go to Donald Miller's website.  As the page comes up I think to myself, (causing a distortion on my face which causes that deep crease between my eyes), "It's a sign.  One Don Miller giveaway followed by another."  I feel as it I have already won.

    Here's Don's offer. You and a friend (I can't wait to ask a friend to go) can win a trip to Portland Oregon for the Living a Better Story Seminar being held September 26th and 27th.

    CONTEST RULES

    1. Write a blog telling us about the kind of story you want to live. It might help to read A Million Miles in a Thousand Years to better understand what this means. The story doesn’t have to be a life story, it can be what you want to do next year, or for the next few years.

    2. Tell us a little about how you think the seminar might help you out. You don’t have to get detailed, just let us know specifically what you’re hoping to get from the seminar. This will help us cover all our bases as people come to Portland.

    3. Provide a link on your blog to the seminar site. That site is www.donmilleris.com/conference

    4. Embed this video on your blog: (at the end of the post)

    5. Submit a link to your blog in the comments on THIS blog entry. If you submit a question about the contest, we will unfortunately have to delete the question because we are trying to keep the entries clean and organized. 

    Here's The Story....Once upon a time there was a very shy girl.  She was a good girl.  The only dreams she had were at night, except for one day dream.  Her day dream was to be on stage, singing, but mostly dancing.  As a teenager she took the stage on the softball field.  The bat, her microphone.  The pitch. The Swing. Crack! The beat. Her feet. She dances her way around the bases.  She slides across the stage.  Dirt flies.  Safe!  A trio. The crowd roars. Music to her ears. Truly the first sisterhood, for which she belonged.  The band worked together, laughed together, cried together, won together and lost together.  Her confidence soared on that stage. The tour ended.  The day dreams ceased.

    Not until many years later did she again have huge day dreams, a day job and a night passion.  Her day dreams creep into the night, hence her lack of sleep most nights.  She's writing this at 2:30 am on a Saturday morning.  She feels THAT feeling, she calls OH YES Moments, that reminds her of days on the dirt stage.  There's something in common between then and now.  Women. Team. Acceptance. Passion. Fun. Joy. Low Fear.

    Her belief, that girls who didn't go to college get married, led her into a 23 year career in a male dominated industry. (Long story, which  involves a marriage, the need for health insurance, a divorce and a re-marriage.)  Who knew she would stay so long, but the benefits were so nice.  Would she allow the testosterone to numb her feminine power forever, for fear of non-acceptance?  Some days, most, she questioned what she wanted and how she would get there.  Glimpses of her glory days on the field came and went.

    Her daughter says mom has a very boring story.  If she could only see mom's vision. PICTURE THIS:  Millions of women carrying a Traveling Sanctuary Tote B*a*g.  Inside holds the story of a woman and a scavenger hunt, challenging women to travel and Discover their B*a*g (believe act go).  When women accomplish a challenge, a donation is provide, by sponsors, to organizations that help women in shelters. The power of giving to someone else through you giving to yourself, that's the most eco-friendly, renewable fuel source in the universe. 

    THE GOAL:  Tell stories that fuel infinite Traveling Sanctuaries. The tote bag is a walking billboard that tells a story and allows you to open up a dialogue about your dreams and values. It is a metaphor that represents you as a Traveling Sanctuary.  What are you fueling it with?  Do you have the right tools?  Are you traveling outside of your comfort zone, because this is where you meet your OH YES Moments and Discover Your B*a*g.   It will create an inclusive sisterhood, where women feel free to strip off their labels and help each other.

    Future plans involve providing women in shelters access to the fuel and tools afforded to women who have resources.  These resources include: lap-top computers with wireless cards, smart-phones, access to online training, which can be delivered through mobile applications and specific to all women's needs.

    We will start with a simple canvas bag, like the one I started carrying 3 years ago. What did I say I started doing three years ago?  I started to read more stories.  I didn't just put books in that bag.  I put all kinds of things.  I called it my Traveling Sanctuary.  What I came to understand is that that bag was a metaphor for me.  I am the Traveling Sanctuary and I needed to fuel and tool it properly so I could provide fuel and tools to others.

    The past three years I have been slowly building a community of women and a platform from which to execute the plan.  I have met so many amazing women.  I will begin by, helping them, tell their story.  A new website will soon launch and I am currently working on our first story, tote bag and scavenger hunt.

    HER CHALLENGE: Will her daughter lose herself, only to find her again mid-life?  Was her mom meant to have a 39 year introduction section to your real life story? Perhaps. She convinces herself that she needs to accept the fact that she was born with a diesel motor, "Slow to start, but when she stays plugged in and  gets going she's POWERFUL".    She needs to strip away the bought and borrowed beliefs that has delivered too many things, debt and a false sense of security.  When you think about it, it is somewhat similar to a woman who stays with an abusive partner.  The fear of the unknown causes a false sense of security.  Either way it's a risk. You doubt you have the resources or courage to venture out on your own.  There is a family to think about; their needs and their security as well.  This is a challenge of many women, more so for single mothers.

    The girl is ready to take the stage. In September she hopes to be set out on a challenging scavenger hunt, which involves more than reading and listening.  She needs a little push and to be held accountable. Actions speak louder than words.  Let's amaze each other by what we can do in just a few short days.




    Living a Better Story Seminar from All Things Converge Podcast on Vimeo.

    Wednesday, July 14, 2010

    Does Your B*a*g Say, "I Love Myself"

    Your own sleeping child is just, well........the most amazing and heart warming sight on the face of the earth.  Quiet.  Innocent. Soft round rosy cheeks. Huge eyelashes. You lay next to her and all is right in the world.  How could I have yelled at her, over a few crumbs on the back seat of the car.  The perfection of God's love.  If you're a mom of a child or mom of a beloved dog, I know, you know exactly what I am talking about.  Your heart swells and you feel as if it is literally smiling.  You must be beaming.  The ray of the sun couldn't be as bright and warm.  Inhale.........Mmm.......strawberry, watermelon.  Oh the feeling of a bath just before bed.  She smells so sweet. You could just gobble her up.

    Now, I have a favor to ask. Outstretch your arms.  Place your right hand on your left shoulder and your left hand on your right shoulder.  Imagine you are laying next to yourself as a sweet sleeping child.  Close your eyes and squeeze.  You are God's love in perfection.  You are a gift.  You are innocent.  You are well just the most amazing spirit on the face of the earth.  Can't quite get there?  I know it takes practice, but we must find ways to express our love to ourselves.

    As I observe families with diaper bags at my 8 year old's baseball game, I have this idea, but first I think to myself, "I am so happy to be over the diaper stage,"  I couldn't watch any of my daughter's athletic games when Gavin was a toddler because he was into everything, crawling away and begging to play at the playground.  At some point the diaper bag turns into a toy bag, which turns into a technical gaming bag, which turns into a sports bag and a school book bag.  Over time the pampering and fun B*a*g disappears.

    So, back to my idea.  Imagine your handbag as a diaper bag. Are you prepared to treat yourself as well as you would treat a precious little baby?

     Time to play a matchy-matchy game. Empty the contents of your handbag/tote bag and compare them to the contents of a diaper bag.  Ask yourself, "Does my B*a*g say, "I Love Myself."

    Diaper = ?
    Baby Wipes = ?
    Nourishing Formula/Breast Milk and Food = ?
    Diaper Rash Cream = ?
    Soft White Clean Under Shirt = ?
    Teething Ring = ?
    Picture Book = ?
    Crayon/Color Book = ?
    Toys = ?
    Lotion = ?
    Sunscreen = ?

    Now I'm hopping in my stroller and taking a little stroll.  Looking at the world with wonder.  "Hey!  How did I get my toe in my mouth?"  Must be those yoga classes. NOT!!!

    Photo credits MarloElaine & Sweet Little Baby Kim with her brothers

    Saturday, July 10, 2010

    Sun Flower Power ~ Drink Up ~ Fuel Up

    This is where I go for lunch at least once a week, Hope's Harvest Health Food Store. I love everyone that works there.  I get more than a healthy dose of good food.  Their spirit fuels me.  Susan, the owner, puts love in the food.  When she makes your sandwich she thinks to herself, "I love you."  You can taste the love. There's a sign in the window that says Hippies Welcome.
    This is a Hibiscus flower.  Did you know you could drink flowers?  

    This is spearmint.  It goes really well with Hibiscus.

    1 Gallon Water
    1 Glass Container
    2-3 Tablespoons Dried Hibiscus
    1 Tablespoon Spearmint
    8 hours of Sunshine

     Strain
    Enjoy!

    Surround yourself with people that fuel your spirit by sharing their (H)(E)art.  I learned about Sun Flower Power.  Drink Up. Fuel Up. 

    Learn more:

    Friday, July 9, 2010

    Re-Tool Your B*a*g

    Nothing tickles my dork more than RE-purposed, RE-designed, RE-cycled, RE-sourced and RE-allocated tools.  Just call me Kim the Tool Lady Lampe, manufacturing joy with re-purposed tools.  I wrote a series of articles about this subject on The Survivor Manual.

    Tool (noun) – Any instrument of use or service.
    Tool (noun) – A weapon.
    Tool (noun;person) – A person used as an instrument by another person.


    Joy is an assembly of many simple parts.  We must find the tools to put them together.  We already posses some tools.  Be creative.  Re-purpose what you already carry in your tool bag.  Seek new tools when necessary.  Share your tools.  You are a powerful instrument.

    My daughter provided a new definition the other day.  Tool - A boy with no substance.   I gather this means, someone who is easily used and manipulated.  And in reference to boys I gather she means a boy who allows his little brain to control his big brain.  So, tools are very powerful.  It's important to use them wisely.

    Be On the Lookout for Your Tools - Here are Some Examples

    EXAMPLE #1 Re-designed ~ Solves Problems



    Re-designed tools are awesome especially when the designers consults with the users and involves them in the re-design process. Ty Pennington (yes the Ty from Extreme Home Makeover) helped Similac re-design the container of their baby formula powder.  I think it's genius in it's No DUH factor and it reminds me of the re-designed paint cans with easy pour spouts, sturdy handle and screw on lid.

    Here's what's new:
    *  Less mess with the scooper caddy.
    *  Easy grip design, when a very tired mom is holding baby and trying to make formula at 3am
    *  Hinged lid so it doesn't get lost
    *  Contoured bottom so the scoop can get the last bit of powder, so there is no waste

    Example #2 - Re-Cycled ~ Eliminates Waste



    Goingreen is a registered trademark of the promotional company Norwood.




    It's pretty much common knowledge that drinking water is good for you.  Some will tell you that you need 10 - 8 ounce glasses a day.  Dr. Oz will tell you that you don't need that much because your food contains water as well.  Either way, what is the worse thing if you drank too much water?  Probably just more trips to the bathroom.

    So, a tool everyone should have in their B*a*g is a water bottle.  I was gifted a new one yesterday and I was pleased to see that, even though it was made of plastic, it was also, #1 recyclable, biodegradable and made from recycled materials.  Whether companies are getting on the green band wagon purely for profit or because they genuinely care for the environment, it's a good thing.

    Another favorite tool I have is clipped onto my handbag, It's handy reusable bag.  It's compact and ready at a moments notice.  Doing your part to help the environment undoubtedly gives a person joy with each plastic bag not used.  Use RE-usable bags. It's so simple. I bought mine from Wisepack

    Example #3 Easy Re-Source ~ Timely


    Lynda where have you been my whole life?  Oh Lynda you're so fine.  You're so fine. You blow my mind.  Listen to Lynda's story.  I'm in love.  I think I have found my benchmark company. I need to learn new digital tools and I have found my easy RE-source.  It is timely, easy to use and has excellent content. AND I love Lynda's story.  This is their mission and motive quoted directly from their website. 

    lynda.com: Our mission

    Helping you learn, master, and apply digital tools and techniques.

    Motivation

    Here at lynda.com, we believe in life-long learning. We believe that education is power, knowledge creates opportunity, and that technology should be accessible to everyone. Our goal is to make everything we know available to you to help reach your creative and career goals.

    We believe no one should be phased out, that everyone has a “new and improved” version inside, and that comprehensive, straightforward training can make a world of difference.

    We want you to not only gain skills, but to also gain confidence. We encourage you to jump in feet first and walk away smarter than you were before. We forever support you in your aspirations to never stop learning, and never stop growing.

    Example #4 Re-Allocate - Money






    "Collectively, Americans and Europeans spend $17 billion a year on pet food.  We could do much more than feed the family of mankind and our cats and dogs; we could assist that family in acquiring the basic skills and tools it needs to feed itself, while maintaining the natural resources on which all life depends." (Small Wonder by Barbara Kingsolver)


    It's not important how much money we accumulate in our B*a*g.  It's important how we allocate the money we have.  I am starting to follow Wise Bread.  Wise Bread is a community of bloggers here to help you live large on a small budget. Despite what you may have heard, you don't have to sacrifice your financial independence to enjoy life.  Money is a tool to be allocated for the joy of all.  I think the word for that is philanthropy.

    Now......... to Re-Tool Your B*a*g

    The next time my husband asks, "Can I buy a welder to build the trailer to haul the Bobcat (moves dirt)?."  The answer will be no, no and no.  What's with boys and their Tools!? Gotta love em, for sure.  They're always burning things up and playing in the dirt.  Have a one time job that needs a special tool? RENT IT!

    Think about your tools.  Do they need a RE-DO?  Apply the RE. RE-purpose, RE-design, RE-cycle, Easy RE-source and RE-allocate your tools.

    Monday, July 5, 2010

    The Best Fuel is FUN & FREE

    Yes, it's true, the best fuel is free.  That is, fuel for your Believe Act Go Traveling Sanctuary.  And a Victoria Secret Catalog Contains Free Fuel.


     Fuel - Intangible energy you generate from within your feminine power.  It is eco-friendly and infinitely renewable.  Your joy and love shared with others fuels the fuel, multiplying the fuel.  It's a beautiful cycle.

    Case in point:

    • One Daughter
    • One Mom
    • One Friend
    • Friend's kitchen
    • One Victoria Secret Catalog
    Passing the time, waiting to savor an amazing Fourth of July meal I flip through a Victoria Secret catalog, sitting on the kitchen island counter top."Paige, assuming I am 50 pounds lighter and would look fabulous in any of these outfits, pick which outfit I would choose for myself.  Don't point it out until I tell you I've made my decision."

    You're sitting, waiting for an appointment or at one of your child's activities. You're riding in your car.  It's seemingly wasted idle time, but in reality it's the prime time to have fun and learn something about your friends and family.  It's free time, literally free fuel time.

    Taking turns picking our favorite outfits was a fun game.  I think we had a accuracy rate of 80%. "Why did you pick that?" I learned more about how her outer style reflects her inner spirit; earthy, eclectic, whimsy. 

    Sharing and having fun is the best fuel.  You don't need to spend money going to the movies, bowling or going on an expensive vacation to fuel the fun.  What fun, free games do you play?  When and where?  What do you learn about your friends and family members? 

    Sunday, July 4, 2010

    Comming Soon - Discover Your B*a*g Scavenger Hunt



    A Tote B*a*g that's a Traveling Sanctuary ~ You're the Traveling Sanctuary

    A Tote B*a*g that coaches ~ It's not a Coach Bag

    A Tote B*a*g that reminds you to fuel yourself first ~ Self Care, Not Selfish Care

    A Tote B*a*g that is a conversation piece ~ It voices your passions and starts a conversation

    A Tote B*a*g that supports the empowerment of women.

    Discover Your B*a*g ~ We want to share your story.  Your B*a*g fuels the Believe Act Go Traveling Sanctuary of others.

    Proceeds of tote bag sales benefit Enchanted Makeovers and The Angela Shelton Foundation, two non-profit organizations that empower healing and leading joyful lives.


    Thursday, July 1, 2010

    Auto Pilot into the Mens Room


    Nothing will give you tunnel vision like four pregnancies and sucking down Minnesota's version of Seven Eleven's Big Slurpee. It's 250 miles into the 286 mile trip and I must say the words he dreads most. "Tom, I need to go to the bathroom."  What is it about men and road trips? Their inner race car driver comes out.  "I was on a record pace. Seriously, can't you make it 30 more miles.  I told you not to drink that huge cup of iced tea." (image provided under creative commons license flickr user smaedli)

    "Um..... No!"  You know the feeling.  It's like one minute dry as a desert, over-filled water balloon the next.  Your insides are holding onto the knotted end as it hangs lower with each targeted pothole the husband conveniently hits like a down hill skier making every gate.  "No talking, joking or laughing. Mom's concentrating."  One more jolt and it will certainly burst.  We've made the trip to my parents hundreds of times and I've been in every bathroom along the way, dirty and clean. I see the sign.  It's a beacon of relief.  "Tom, next exit.  Don't you dare drive past."

    The Potty Dance

    I walk into the gas station/restaurant/truck stop as casual as possible.  Ho Hum. Don't mind me, cool mama coming though. Great, I've got to sneeze. Casually stop. Bring the knees together.  Squeeze.  Sneeze.  I sprint the last 10 feet to to the ladies room. Damn it's locked. I turn to check the mens room.  And wouldn't you know, it appears hubby was craddling his own filled balloon. TIME FOR THE POTTY DANCE. "Doing the potty dance. Doing potty dance."  Just when you think you couldn't make it another second the bathroom is available.  I'll spare you my embarrassing pee in my pants story for another post.

    It's interesting how my brain stores the maps to every ladies rooms I've ever used.  In the door, take a right, then a left, straight back.  For instance, the ladies room, at an office where I used to work, was always on the right and the mens room was always on the left.  It was a pretty big office and each paired restrooms were laid out this way.  A year ago they downsized and moved the corporate office.  I don't work at the corporate office any longer, but occasionally need to spend the day there.  On one of those days, soon after arriving the morning tea runs its course and I make my way to the right hand ladies room.  Door open.  Man washing hands.  Dang!  Who is the heck changes a right turning ladies room into a left turning ladies room?

    Today, I stopped at the busiest convenient store/gas station in town, to use the restroom.  They had remodeled some months back and guess what?  They turned their left turned ladies room into a right turned ladies room.  Door open. Urinal.  Palm. Forehead. Smack!

    There's this other time when the door back into the office from the engineering lab was one of four identical looking doors.  Yep you know the story.  That makes 3 times I've accidentally walked into the mens restroom.

    Signs, Maps, GPS Systems

    Now wouldn't it make more sense to have a sign like this posted outside.  It would keep the men out and women would definitely know that room was their room.  Another piece of advise to architects on proper sign placement.  Put the sign on the door.  Not to the side.  That just makes me second guess which door it is. (cartoon provided by HikingArtist.com)

    Today when I planted my eyes on that urinate I thought to myself, "I wonder if I've gone into the mens room on other days and not realized it."  No really, I thought, "In what other areas of my life am I on auto pilot, ignoring the signs" 


    It's so easy to follow our pre-subscribed maps.  Safe, familiar, predictable seems to be the only logical course to take.  I have a map for that.  Two blocks, left, two blocks, right, 6 miles, right, 10 miles, right, 5 blocks, left,2 blocks, right into the parking lot.  Sure my eyes are on the road, but guess what? I don't look at the signs anymore.  No need. I know the way too well.

    I go to a lot of soccer games at remote soccer fields in towns I've never been.  I take a map, use my GPS and I follow the signs.  Sometimes the maps and the GPS don't agree.  Almost always the signs are right.  Some of them are small and hard to read, which means I have to slow down to read them.  I've never not gotten un-lost and the kids have always made the game. (What the heck does never not gotten un-lost mean? I confuse myself and apparently use improper grammar.)


    Here's me in auto pilot mode.  There are sure signs of me not facing my fears and traveling within my auto pilot map.
    • Quick to anger and unwilling to stop for potty breaks for fear of not breaking my own record.  Its all about me.
    • I don't dance (unless I have to pee) and there is no laughter
    • I procrastinate by doing busy work
    • I own stuff I don't need or have a personal connection
    • There's a toy box full of McDonald's Happy Meal Toys (auto pilot drive-thru)
    • We didn't own a dog
    • I don't listen
    • I raise my voice 
    • I defined my quality of life by my income
    • I thought when girls didn't go the college they got married
    We've reached the (dead) end......

    Here's some food for thought.   Leave the map at home. Set out on an adventure and follow the signs.  Don't be afraid of getting lost. Flip a coin. Left is heads, right is tails.  Oh and before your go, DRINK A BIG OLE 44 OUNCE CUP OF SOMETHING, GET PREPARED TO  LAUGH YOUR ASS OFF AND THEN PEE YOUR PANTS!!

    Saturday, June 26, 2010

    Dishwashing Dictators & Kind Cake Bakers

    "I can give you guidance for doing a task, but unless you "discover" your own way of doing it you won't own it."- Tom Peters.

    Oh my, what a control freak.  And over such a trivial thing, loading a dishwasher.  I sit quietly, trying to appreciate that another family member is actually loading the dishwasher. "Um, no, the glasses go on the right and the the bowls on the left."  And just to add a little more annoyance to their good deed I add, "For god sakes, you don't have to wash them before you put them in the dishwasher. Get it?  It's a "dish" "washer"."

    I'm having flash backs of my mother lecturing us on how to properly wash a car.  "You always start at the top and work your way down. See this is how you do it (high pitched voice)."  We'd stand back and observe knowing that by the time the demonstration was over, half the car would be spotless and done HER way.  Such cruel children, but she brought it upon herself.  We should have just told her, "Mom, we yearn to make it our own."  Yeah, right. On a more serious note, I don't know where I would be without the work ethic instilled in me by my parents.   We always give my mom grief about her slave driving days.  Now that she has relaxed about 100 fold, it's so much fun imitating her.  Today, I go to the car wash.  It does an excellent good.

    I'll never forget the day my mom came home from work, finding my sister Michelle, 10 years old at the time, in the kitchen with a baffled look on her face.  "Mom the egg whites won't dissolve."  Mom said, "What are you talking about?"  "Well, the shells are the only white part, so I figured....." Mom just smiled and we all giggled, She was thrilled that Michelle had taken the initiative to bake a cake all by herself.  Michelle certainly made it her own.  Mom wasn't angry.  I vividly remember mom pouring the batter into the strainer, filtering out the shells and showing Michelle how to separate eggs.  Today Michelle is an AWESOME cook. 

    On the journey of Discovering Our B*a*g we need to seek out those Kind Cake Baking Travel Guides.  Generally, I find the best Travel Guides are story tellers who share their truth. They know when to listen and when to guide. Whether it be business tactics or life lessons, it's all the business of life and it all applies.  We  find our truth inside the truth of others. We don't feel so alone.

    Try this on for size. "Paige, thanks so much for doing the dishes."  "Mom, I really don't like loading the dishwasher.  It takes too long and I really don't know how to set up the dishes."  To which I reply, "This is how I load the dishwasher.  You can try it my way and if it works, great.  Maybe you have a better way.  If you do find a better way be sure and let me know.  Here is an article I found on the subject, which I found to be a pretty reliable source.  I refer to it every now and again just to make sure I'm on track."  I am now imagining myself pulling away my June Cleaver mask like in the scene when the alien from Men in Black rips open the skin of his host human skin, farmer dude, revealing himself.  I think you get the point.  If you don't, well that's okay, it's just me.

    Next time your Dishwasher Dictator rears its ugly head, just remember it is all based on your fear of losing control.  Could you trust yourself if something went wrong, like say a few dirty dishes.  Wow, really?  It sounds as ridiculous as keeping an article on the proper way of loading a dishwasher handy for frequent reference.


    So, are you surrounding yourself with Kind Cake Baking Travel Guides?  Who are they? Make a list. Can't think of any? Set an intention of seeking them out.  My best travel guides:

    • share stories
    • listen
    • challenge me intellectually and spiritually
    • hold me accountable
    • are honest
    • are trust worthy (confirmed with their actions)
    • admit when they are wrong
    • make me laugh
    • make me cry
    • allow me to make mistakes, but is always ready with a life line 
    I'll be introducing wonderful Travel Guides right here in the near future.  Won't you leave a comment and share some of your favorite Travel Guides.

    Thursday, June 24, 2010

    It's Totally Doable........

    with the right tools, fuel and passengers, so


    Exhibit A:

    Below is a Twitter exchange between myself and Kelly McCormick, author of OutSell Yourself(Dancing B*a*g Lady commentary, "For those who are not familiar with Twitter just imagine it is text messaging on steroids.")

    @OutSellYourself (aka Kelly McCormick) tweeted: My thought of the day: Focus on the big picture. Do 5 do-able action steps to move forward - today.  (Dancing B*a*g Lady commentary: "She said the A word, Action. It's the middle work in B*a*g (believe act to) This catches my attention.")

    @believeactgo replies: @OutSellYourself thank you. will do. (Dancing B*a*g Lady commentary: "This reply announces my intention and commitment to finding 5 do-able things.")

    @OutSellYourself replies:@believeactgo Keep me posted on your successes! (Dancing B*a*g Lady commentary, "Sweet!  Someone who expects my success and furthers my commitment by expecting a response")

    @believeactgo replies: 
    #1 doable today (1am this morning.g) rewrite executive summary of prosperity plan. CC: @outsellyourself
    #2 doable today - Mailed a gift to an amazing woman. CC: @OutSellYourself
    #3 doable - conference call with web designers. CC: @OutSellYourself
    #4 doable today - assess need for service and request feedback from benefactors. CC @OutSellYourself
     @OutSellYourself Did 5,6,7,8 and 9, which included the all important playing catch with my son. I'll think of 5 doables each day.

    @OutSellYourself replies:  @believeactgo Wow...you are creating success at the speed of light! You inspire me. :-) (Dancing B*a*g Lady commentary: "Inspiration always comes full circle.")

    Get some fuel. Find a tool.

    I invited Kelly into my Traveling Sanctuary B*a*g (believe act go), as a passenger, when I made the choice to follow her tweets. As I journey further down the path of developing Modern B*a*g Ladies I may want to invest in Kelly's coaching services, which assists with branding, selling and marketing. She outlines her services very well on her website.  

    Soon after following Kelly's messages on Twitter, I knew I would be filling up with the fuel she was sharing.   Kelly offers the fuel.  And Twitter is the tool that delivers her fuel.  I've never spoken to Kelly on the phone or in person. We have never exchanged emails for that matter, but forever in my mind Kelly McCormick will be attached to "What are my 5 doables today?"

    Kelly, delivers her expertise and inspiration for free, on Twitter, and I suspect she doesn't do it expecting everyone to hire her or buy her book.  I suspect she does it because she believes in community and building relationships.

    So, again I ask,"What's in your B*a*g, literally and metaphorically?"  Are you getting the right fuel? Do you have the right tools to share your fuel? 

    Focus on the big picture. Do 5 do-able action steps to move forward - today.  Heck, do 1 do-able action.  Doesn't matter how big or how small.  Believe.  Act. Go.