B*A*G Book Notes - Nature Girl by Carl Hiaasen

Here's an update on an old soul reading some new material post. I finished reading, Nature Girl by Carl Hiaasen, described by the Boston Globe as, "Hilarious...Pure outlandish silliness.. A breakneck narrative.



OUTLANDISH - Yes
SILLINESS - Yes, but not my kind of silly
BREAKNECK NARRATIVE - Hmmm maybe

For an old soul that too easily slides into her comfort zone in almost every part of her life this Dancing B*A*G Lady is glad to have ventured out with a new kind of book. Here's what she learned.... (now back to Kim in the first person).

1. I like lists. As I review my posts I see numbered lists. My weird way of weaving order into my holistic sometimes fuzzy style.


2. There is a tasteful way of describing sexuality in a novel without being vulgar. As they always say, leaving something to the imagination is way more erotic and interesting.


3. There are so many truths in fiction, as fiction is derived from a true life story just rearranged. This opens up your mind to new possibilities for life, good or bad.


4. By the end of this bizarre story I was schooled enough to construct an even more bizarre ending than the author put to paper. Maybe he did that on purpose so we could feel our creative abilities or maybe to reassure us that at the core all people are good.
5. I will read another fiction novel, as a very nice lady saw my endless browsing at the bookstore and recommended a fiction book and the another helpful shopper seconded the motion, Water the Elephants by Sara Gruen.

This book is a New York Times Bestseller, so there you go.

Side note, the more I read the more time I commit to reading. I guess I need to make up for too many years of being uninformed and uninspired. I think it might be rubbing off on my kids, I hope.

Naughty in a Nice Way

This post is dedicated to all the Naughty and Nice Ladies, which is all ladies. You know that naughty nice that's the real you. Not the nicey nice that's the fake you censoring everything like a Stepford Wife. And not the nasty naughty that violates the rules of B*A*G Lady Fun.

1. BAG Lady FUN helps you face problems, not run from them.
2. BAG Lady FUN never gets boring.
3. You never regret BAG Lady FUN.
4. BAG Lady FUN makes everyone feel better; not feel worse.

Here are two of my favorite celebrity naughty in a nice way Ladies.

Chelsea Handler - Although Chelsea does push the envelope with her jokes at times (rule #3 and #4), she is clever and sarcastic in a brilliant way. Her funny requires some intelligence. I would kill to see if I could hang with her comedians at her Round Table segments featured at the beginning of her show, Chelsea Lately. Too bad she promotes drinking Vodka, but nobody is perfect.

Jenny McCarthy - Jenny has had her stretches of crazy television shows/appearances in the 80's & 90's, posed for Playboy and is known for her crazy antics but recently she has channeled that unbridled drive of being herself into the being an advocate for autistic children. She made an appearance on Oprah and I have to say she oozed passion and compassion. She is a great example of how to channel your "realness". Her newly released book, Mother Warriors, was fueled by the love of her autistic son. It is filled with stories, demonstrating the power of a mother's love. Damn if we could bottle mommy love we would out energize the sun for sure.

I will not be naming Naughty in a Nice way ladies I know personally, but if you know me and are reading this you know if I am talking about you. You....

1. show your significant other your naughty nice side and they do appreciate it
2. speak your mind in a respectful, constructive manner
3. love to relax and laugh
4. are genuine and people know you are always being yourself
5. love yourself in every way
6. share your love with others and aren't afraid to wear your heart on your sleeve
7. do your best to stay within the B*A*G Lady Fun rules

Be naughty & nice at the same time. It is SOOOOO much fun.

Chain Re"ACTION" - You Can't Plan These Things

Chain - A series of connected links.

Reaction - Any response caused by some other event.

Call it luck, coincidence, law of attraction or destiny, but when I reflect on events in my life I think about how if that hadn't of happened this wouldn't have happened. Magic is quite simple and natural.

Life as a precise, sequence of planned events is an illusion. Give is up, go with the flow, release your control freak. I mean how does it feel to plan out your day hour by hour and BAM something unexpected. What to do? My day turns out to be a complete failure.

I prefer to start each day with a general vision, based on a reminder list of what is most important to the bigger vision. If I had a strict set of to does I am sure recent chain reactions would not have happened in my life. Absent of a "to do" list I am not void of action. Expect the unexpected, take action, overcome fears, wait for the reaction, so goes the chain.

Here's a favorite chain (we have several chains and the chains intertwined)

1. I felt like crap for two years.
2. It got so bad that I finally went to the doctor for my "annual" (had been 2 1/2 years) stir up visit.
3. Long story short, I had a hysterectomy
4. 6 weeks away from work, on medical leave, and time to reflect on my life
5. Hey! I wanted to be an interior designer
6. Heard of the concept "Law of Attraction"
7. Read a book "Mommy Millionaire"
8. Learned I could learn new skills and loved the combination of my creativity and the freedom to make all the decisions
9. Started a staging business
10. Started to write short stories
11. Joined Mommy Millionaire social network
12. Met some really great women via the virtual world
13. Set out with new visions of aligning my inner and outer purpose
14. Met more women
15. Started a newsletter
16. Started a blog
17. and the chain goes on and on

Within this general chain is the relationships with myself and other great people. Overcoming my fears, trusting myself and taking action is creating my strongest life chain.

Somewhere between flying by the seat of your pants and keeping your head down, missing those "oh yes" moments, are the moments that create a great chain re"Action".

Think about whether you are driving with your head in the map or reading the map first, driving, stopping for rest and fuel and getting back on the road with your eyes on the vision, ready to stop for more fuel, rest, inspiration or just a NEW map, if necessary.

ACTION ACTION ACTION your way to your strong life chain reACTION and remember go along your journey spreading joy, shreading fear and having fun, always keeping your eye on the vision.

Old Spirit Reading Some New Material

I feel whole when surrounded by OLD things. Chairs, pictures, repurposed junk made into beautiful mobiles, knotted wood with worm holes and old true stories. I think I'm an old soul.

The Traveling Princess B*A*G Lady suggested that I ditch my standard non-fiction, self help, spiritual journey kind of books and venture out a little. Just finished Traveling Mercies by Anne Lamott. Quite good. Really my kind of book.

Well, went to the bookstore tonight and picked up, Nature Girl by Carl Hiaasen. I'll let you know how it turns out. Fiction, villians, mystery and idiotic characters I'm told.

I'm forging into a new kind of book with an old soul. Boy do I know how to have an adventure. HA!

Ms. Misery Loves Company or not?

You know when you are in a bad mood and your well intentioned joyous friend comes bee bopping up to you and you just want to bite her bee bopping head off, just because she is in a good mood? What in the hell gives her the right to be all bubbly? Didn't she get the memo? If my life sucks I have the right to suck the life out of everything around me. MS. MISERY LOVES COMPANY, BUT ONLY IF THAT COMPANY WANTS TO SHARE IN HER MISERY.

We've all had our Ms. Misery and Ms. Bee Bop moments. Here are some tips for our double personalities.

MS. MISERY being confronted by MS. BEE BOP

1. If you are so far gone that you can't accept a little smile and a good morning just lock yourself in your room and send out an SOS.
2. Give Ms. Bee Bop fair warning that you are not accepting any happiness in a very matter of fact manner. Ms. Bee Bop just wants the facts
3. Let Ms. Bee Bop take her Happy Hammer and tap your misery shell so a little happiness can seep in.

MS. BEE BOP confronting MS. MISERY

1. Once Ms. Misery has stated the facts, test the waters with non confrontational waves.
2. Don't engage in happy conversation, just bring her her favorite soft drink. Ms. Misery really wants her happiness to come out, but it can't be forced. Wait for her to start talking.
3. If her conversation is all about her misery, smile and nod, provide support, only give advise if requested.
4. Do not feed the misery animal with misery snacks. It will cause a feeding frenzy.

Happiness can seem like the most unpopular thing, misery definitely loves misery company. I have also experienced women who disguise misery as happiness and become Ms. Rumor Mill. They are so miserable in their lives that they bee bop around talking about other's miseries or uninteresting life events, so they don't have to deal with their own misery. I challenge you to let rumors go in one ear and out the other, at the risk of entering the rumor mill isolation zone.
Smile, nod and let your happiness show in your actions. Much harder said than done for sure. A little less conversation a little more action can go a long way.