Monday, February 9, 2009

Putting Yourself First: Selfish or Self-Care?

Kim Beebee, our Sister of Soul B*a*g Lady, shares some thoughts on self care as we approach the most loving of days, Valentines Day.

Kim, and her team, is in the process of launching Soulspring Empowerment Groups for Women ...inspiring women of all ages to let their passions rise to the surface. With a strong support network it is possible to tap into your power, realize your potential and achieve your dreams. I have a feeling we will be hearing from Kim again. Her self care enables her to share her fuel, which fills her tank even more.

Putting Yourself First: Selfish or Self-Care? by Kim Beebe

It’s February, the month of love. Of course our thoughts turn to our most precious of relationships: our spouse, our children, our parents. But often we forget the most important relationship of all; the relationship with ourselves.

Just as our relationships with others take great care to remain strong, so do we need to show our own selves that same kind of care and compassion. While you might expect me to suggest taking a long soak in the tub, which I must say is never a bad idea; the problem goes much deeper than that.

As women we are the nurturers, often putting the needs of others above our own. We tend to make family and work matters our highest priority, thinking that makes us a better mother, wife, sister, employee and friend. The problem is that the longer we go without addressing our own needs (filling our fuel as Kim Lampe would say), the more depleted we become. Our dreams fade, our goals wither and our passions slowly dry up. As you can imagine, this has a negative impact on us emotionally. Often overlooked however is the effect this behavior has on us physically, as research reveals more about the connection between belief, emotion and disease.

What we as women need to understand is that there is a difference between “self-ish” and “self-care”. We have this one life to live and a purpose to fulfill. By not pursuing our passions and dreams we are doing the world, those we love, and most of all ourselves, a great disservice. That is “selfish”.

By treating ourselves with respect, listening to the cues of our body, placing importance on our own dreams and carrying out our divine assignment for our life, we are empowering ourselves at the deepest of levels. That is “self-care”.

While you’re showering affection on those you love this month, don’t forget to give yourself a healthy dose of love. Allow time for silent contemplation daily, appreciate your uniqueness in the world, get in touch with what it is that stirs you, affirm yourself with positive self-talk, and care for your physical body. You’re definitely worth it and it is only then that you will have the “fuel” you need to be and give all you can for yourself and others.


M.E. Greene said...

Three cheers for self love! I've got to remember to do that more often. :o) As a mother (and wife!) it's easy to focus on what everyone else needs and forget that I could use a hot bath and maybe a package of bon-bons. :o)

Mars said...

This is a good reminder. I get so busy with my children and work that I find there isn't always enough time for myself. Sometimes we just need to make the time. :-)

Unknown said...

Insightful article. As I read it, I paused and thought about how I take care of others and their needs so many times ahead of my own. We can have such an impact on others, but if we don't take care of who we are, we won't have our "gifts" to share with others. Thank you for sharing this article and your insight.

Anonymous said...

Very true & very inspiring. It's amazing how slowly we lose sight of ourselves while scattering here there and everywhere to meet the needs of those around us. It is said there is always enough time for the things most important to us - I'm thinking I need to work on making sure I'm at the top of my own list (or at least somewhere in the vicinity of the top). Thanks for the encouragement & the reminder.

Missy said...

Great article, Kim. I think as women we tend to think that caring for others and caring for ourselves are mutually exclusive. I'm going to print this out and keep it on my desk to read at the start of each day to remember to care for myself, too.

Anonymous said...

I love this, after all if we do not love and nurture ourselves then others in our life will see us as valueless. By taking care of personal needs we train others to also take care of us!