Wednesday, June 9, 2010

KISSS My B and Get on with It

I came downstairs 90 minutes ago and I am just now starting to write.  I guess I could blame my daughter for distracting me.  She came down stairs to see what mom was doing.  She actually asked if she could help me find a suitable bag for our scavenger hunt. (We interrupt this blog post to interject some mystery and shamelessly coax you into reading to the end. Just pretend you are watching the news as they break for commercial, "When we return breaking news on several Jesus sightings,")

I feel like I am getting too caught up in the details, which may be my way of putting off what is really important, MY MISSION.

Modern B*a*g Ladies is an inclusive sisterhood.  Our mission is to fuel each others Beliefs, so we are charged to take Action and Go to our dreams. 
We will spread our new found joy, shred our own and others fears and just have more fun. We are real! We are not yes ladies! We are OH YES Ladies and it feels great! 

So I've made a decision.  Which is that I will make a decision and GO!!! You know the "A" and "G" in the bag, realizing there's a false "B" (borrowed belief) which is hissing in my ear, "You can't do that. Blah, Blah and Blah."

I'm going to KISS my bought and borrowed beliefs and get on with it.  Keep it Simple Super Star!  I guess that's KISSS.  KISSS the HISS goodbye.  Yep I'm talking myself into it.  Embrace the process.  One small step for Kim. One giant step for KIM being KIND to herself.  Gosh you'd think I was trying to walk on the moon here.  Actually, sometimes it feels like it.

Here's some action words for all you Discover Your B*a*g OH Yes Ladies: Reading, Thinking, Talking.  All very nice verbs indeed.  Necessary?  YES. Enough?  NO. Reading will inspire you and get you thinking.  It may teach you a new skill.  I talk about wonderful books all the time.  I tell people my plans, but when it comes right down to it I need to blister my feet and callus my hands more.  This involves forcing myself into a corner and finding my way out. You must force change upon yourself.  You can't read and get it. Think it and get. Talk about it and get it.  You must want it bad enough that you are willing to lose going after it and then get back up again and fight some more.

So, today on my way to work I see a man walking.  I see more people walking these days.  One morning I saw a woman walking.  She was carrying a purse.  How many people carry their purse on a walk meant for exercise?  I turn the truck around. Approaching her I lower the window and ask if she needed a ride. No I'm just walking.  I kind of felt stupid.  I see her almost every day now and it makes me smile.  I honor anybody committed to more exercise.  Yet, for all I know she had her car repossessed and now she has to walk to work.  Either way she walks in a proud way.

A robe, long beard, sandals, walking stick, large rosary and a backpack.  "Should I stop?"  I lower my speed, holding up traffic behind me. My sister picked up a hitch hiker once.  Dad sternly schooled her in the dangers of picking up strangers. "I am on a major highway. What could happen?  There's too many witnesses."    I increase my speed.  "This is going to delay my arrival to work."  Blinker on, I make a quick U turn and head back toward "Jesus". 

I approach and lower my window, "Is there anything I can do for you?"  I don't remember what he says.  He looks very normal except for his clothes.  "Are you on a pilgrimage?"  "Do you walk everywhere?"  He explains that yes indeed a pilgrimage.  The first in 7 years as he as been ill.  I offer him $10.  He can not accept money, only food, water and shelter.  He had his lunch for today and today only. He explained that he was part of some brotherhood order.  "Safe journey.  I will be praying for you."   He replied, "And I will pray for you as well."  I do another U turn and he continues to walk.  "Dang I could have offered him my orange I had packed for my lunch today."  I momentarily hear that hissing in my ear.

3 years ago I would not have stopped for either traveler. Sad, but true.  In a small way this is a step towards the blisters and the calluses.  Writing tonight did not come easy. It is a labor of love or an emotional labor I wrote about in my article on The Survivor Manual titled, Sister Subsets and Brother Brackets

I will continue to read, think and talk.  Apparently it's inspiring some worthy actions.  I must be kind to myself and travel ahead with faith and less fear.  Did you know the most quoted commandment in the bible is "do not fear?"  I shared a kind word and hope with a man that looked like Jesus today.  Knowing that he is praying for me brings me comfort.  I leave this post off to bed sending loving energy to him and a few others.  It is a worthy action.  Necessary?  YES!

1 comment:

LadyJtalks said...

I know how you are feeling. trusting again begins with learning to trust yourself again. I loved reading this today.