I can remember not so long ago my husband forgot my birthday. No! Now that I think about it was 7 years ago. It probably hurt more that I will admit. Anyway, I called him, enthusiastically exclaiming, "Everyone at work decorated my office and filled it with balloons!" I thought he would reply, "Happy Birthday!" Nope and I felt stupid reminding him.
A) He was pissed at me. We did have a fight the night before and I figured he was being stubborn.
B) He didn't hear a word I had said during our phone conversation and actually did forget my birthday.
I was testing my husband. Would he disappoint me and would I allow him to do so? What would I do if he went the whole day without acknowledging my birthday? I could sulk. I could cry. Or I could just exclaim, "Happy Birthday To Me!"
I ended up reminding him. He was simply having one of those "brain fart" days and spaced it off and thought my co-workers were just playing a practical joke by filling my office with balloons.
What's a birthday, but not to remind you that you can emerge anew anytime no matter your age. The world was given a gift the day you were born, right? So 2 months ago I decided I would give myself a 40 something birthday present. I proclaimed this birthday commitment, which surely would prevent any hurt caused by forgetfulness.
Now I don't want to down play any great gifts I have been given in the past, but this gift I gave myself was indeed the best birthday gift I have ever gotten. As mentioned in my last post, MBL had their first workshop/mini retreat yesterday, Saturday 17th. A dream I had first envisioned May 2008. The reason it took me so long to actually have this event was because I was afraid nobody would come and I couldn't pull together 4 hours of compelling, interesting material and activities. I knew the boost I needed was to make my intentions public and to make a commitment to others that I was going to do it.
So on November 19th I announced this event in my weekly Traveling Sanctuary Newsletter. It would be held on January 17th, the day before my birthday. It would be my birthday present to myself. I wanted my mom and sister to be there, so I ASKED (strongly encouraged) them to make the 5 hour drive from Iowa to Minnesota. We would cross our fingers that the weather would cooperate.
My gift to myself was the courage to make a commitment and following through. Here are the bonus gifts I received as a result. I am returning to my Believe Act Go (Bag) Age indeed.
- My sister and mom made the trip with good weather.
- My sister made me a banana cream pie
- My mom took down my Christmas tree
- My 13 year old daughter enthusiastically assisted me at the workshop and was exposed to incredible ladies
- I told stories and shared tools that helped ladies
- Ladies openly shared themselves
- I received encouragement that will fuel me to continue down the path of developing Modern B*a*g Ladies.
- Admiration for other ladies
- I could go on and on
The next time somebody reminds me about their birthday I will rejoice. I know they do not do this because they expect a gift. Rather I believe they have just given themselves a gift.
Give. Receive. Intentions. Deeds.
To everyone reading this, consider this your Happy Birthday wish. I am ashamed to say that I stink at keeping a birthday calendar and acknowledge other's (outside of my immediate family) birthdays. Note to self, "start a birthday calendar and start surprising others on their birthdays" They will most certainly be surprised getting a happy birthday wish from Kim. I really dislike myself for this lack of thoughtfulness.
3 comments:
yay! Happy belated birthday! My birthday is in a few weeks... I'll be 34. Last night I found my first gray hairs, and felt like having a little party for myself.
I love this post, my husband of 20 years, forgot my birthday every year for about ten. At, first I was angry, considered him mean to be so absentminded etc. But as I got to know him over the years and his family, I learned that growing up and now in the present, his family are not holiday oriented people, AT ALL! It isn't a way they show love to one another, but in my family, holidays were used to celebrate the feelings you had for the honoree. Therefore, our philosophies were not the same. To him it was no big deal, to me it couldn't be a bigger deal. We have come closer together in this area over the last 20 years, but I am still disappointed some years, only to strengthen my resolve to love my husband not for the parties he could throw or the plans he could make; just him for who he is outside of celebrations! :)
I know what you are saying about the difference in families. Our family didn't make a big deal about birthdays and my husband's family did not have much money, so he tends to want to give less than practical gifts.
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